I have often wondered what kind of people would consider donating their kidney. I would suspect that a significant percentage of donors are family members or close friends. Then there are people who donate anonymously, which I find utterly amazing.
What drives people to make the final decision?
In my case there is a back story, so I must travel back in time a few years and touch upon my home life where I was brought up as I feel this has had a strong influence on my decision, even after all those years have passed. As we know, childhood experiences have a strong influence throughout the rest of your life.
Sociable and Hospitable
My mother and father were extremely social people, and we often had many friends and family visiting the house on a regular basis, especially at the weekends. My mother went to church every Sunday, but I do not think that she was deeply religious but again the social aspect brought many people to the church. My mother often helped to collect money for Charity. She was a ‘giver’ and enjoyed helping others.
Unexpected Visitors
In Scotland, it is normal for people to just visit spontaneously. When this happened at our house, I was given immediate instructions to quickly tidy the living room. So, cushions were straightened, newspapers buried under cushions and teacups or glasses removed.
It would not be long before the kettle was on and the guests would receive tea, or even a glass of wine, sherry or whisky accompanied by either cakes, biscuits, or cheese and jam. That is primarily the generous nature of the Scottish people, unlike the myths of how Scots are meant to be mean.
Family Music
Another aspect of family gatherings included singsongs around the piano. Both my brother Johnny and I are musical and can play by ear. We often fought to see who would play the family piano. When I say fought – I mean we had physical wrestling matches, much to the annoyance of everyone else. But all in playful fun!
In my youngest years, I grew up surrounded by a close family who would give me advice in life and help when I needed it. I used to think that every family was the same but later in life discovered this is not the case sadly.
Many years previously, my mother spent a lot of years looking after her sick mother who was bedridden in hospital.
Later in life she would care for my father who had several heart attacks and strokes. You could say she sacrificed a lot of her time to help people in need.
This shows what kind of person she was – willing to give up her time and make someone who is sick feel better or just to be by their side.
Lessons in Life
This is by far the clearest lesson I have learned from my mother – by giving up something from yourself you can help others. Those experiences you could say, were lessons in empathy, sympathy and feeling the pain of others.
I am the youngest of 3 siblings with an older brother and sister and so you could say I was the spoilt one, they would agree with that!
As there was quite an age gap between myself and my siblings, I was not that old when my brother and sister would move out. My brother to music college and my sister into wedlock.
Later in life and later in this story I can explain how music played a part in connecting with people and how it played a major part in my recovery process.
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